A recent study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people frequently underestimate how much their friends desire to hear from them.
The more unexpected a phone call or text is, the more it will be appreciated by the recipient.
Researchers discovered that, across all of the study’s several studies, the individual who initiated contact consistently underestimated how highly the other party valued the action.
Still, asking pals for more communication or reaching out to a friend with whom you may not have spoken in a while might be nerve-wracking
According to Brian Trager, a therapist at Williamsburg Therapy Group, “a lot of people are terrified to be rejected or scared to realise that maybe they don’t matter as much as they wish to to other people.”
Friendship maintenance is “a struggle.”
Asking for more or better communication is standard practise in some relationships. Friendships don’t fit within that description.
It’s not considered to be something many of us can ask for since “society places a lot more weight on romantic relationships meeting those emotional requirements for us than on our friends,” he says.
Trager claims that losing a friend can frequently be as as terrible as losing a relationship, if not more so, especially if the friendship was long-lasting. To invest the same amount of effort into a friendship as you would other types of relationships does not feel normal, though.
It can get harder to adopt new behaviours because “we just get caught in our habits,” the author claims.
It takes work to accomplish things of this nature, and many individuals find it difficult to put out the necessary effort to preserve friendships or to understand what it truly means to be in a very loving relationship with another person.
The “most effective” option is not going to be a text message.
There is essentially just one way to express your desire for a buddy to call more frequently or to be more accessible when you call: ask.
He argues that having a phone call or having a face-to-face chat would be preferable: “I don’t think asking for these things by text is going to be the most effective.”
Even if you feel uncomfortable or anxious, keep in mind that they will probably be more grateful that you phoned than you think.